| Friday, Saturday |
Nov 19, 2007 9:56 am
1551 Views |  | Well, here I am, going through it all again. No one has to tell me how futile this situation is, where I currently find myself, shaking and quaking as the breeze from a fan, moving the 80 degree air around the room, just hits me and knocks me off my square.
Well, I didn't say no. I invited them all to my house on the west side, to a party thrown for sir saltiel, celebrating his arrival from golden. The usual suspects turned out for the exchange, from ed, to launce, to matt and robin, steve mearek, mirco, and me. A quiet affair starting at 7:30 and continuing until 4AM. We had drinks and dips and sushi and salad, and no one went hungry or thirsty, and still there were things to smoke.
Regardless, much to my despair, I felt like a simple procurer of goods, being asked to share in the adventure only as an afterthought, mirco grilling saltiel as they ride through the hood, while at the same time I ask for the lowdown from ed, in regard to our mutual friend, or this man who was once a friend until I stomped on his dreams and sent him into a suspicious depression, where half the time he worries for his life, and the other half, he lies in wait, plotting some pure revenge. I suppose I don't blame him, not as if I handled the situation with abundance of aplomb, and so I created a dark void in my life where the theatre used to thrive. Now I wait to see what might happen, pensive, thoughtful, attentive to not fall flat in the dog doo again.
Saturday seemed to blend into friday, and soon it was time to think about going to dj's show, the magician, at the national pastime. He had told steve he thought he might be thrown off if he knew I was there, so I attempted to be as unobtrusive as possible. However, on my walk from the car to the bar where we were all meeting, I came face to face with him, as he stood with a cigarette behind a glass door near the theatre, and I passed by in my hoodie, walking quickly through the gloom of a dark saturday night. In that instant, our eyes locked, and I knew it was futile to pretend I wasn't there, make a scene, or even acknowledge I had been in any way aware of him. Sad, isn't it? I actually stopped on the street, wondering if I should go back, perhaps have a little chat, but I know he isn't ready yet, and so, in the best interest of all, I kept moving.
Mirco had taken my money so I had to rely on my friends, which was not only embarassing, but nerve racking. I was afraid to not be able to get in, even though at least 10 other die hard dj fans and theatre o th absurd addicts were present, and I knew the director, as well as several members of the cast and crew. I ended up sitting alone in a corner, sucking on carmel candies from the lobby, and being lulled into a drowse by the dark lighting and often unintelligible speech. There was always something interesting going on on stage, often unspoken, and the lighting design and sets were top notch. Dj, more than not, seems a caricature, and it was difficult for me to separate the man from the man on stage. I was entertained however, and was hoping to see dj for a minute afterwards, but there wasn't even a curtain call, and then it appeared he was not coming out until I made my exit. So I took the hint and departed, leaving the insinuating holly in my wake, talking on her cell phone when not making insulting comments. We decided to get together at a bar afterwards and I made my way there, also calling to invite alex to the shindig. I didn't last long though, as mirco was hungry for my arrival back home and I somehow felt deflated. To anyone asking how it was, I replied that it was interesting, and there was something going on 100%of the time, making it likely that even after multiple viewings, there are always other layers to uncover.
Just like relationships. |
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0 Comments | |
| The Life of the Heroine |
Sep 26, 2007 9:59 am
2166 Views | You already know what I want to say
as cold sweat drips down my back,
down my face,
down my chest,
as I shiver in the sodden heat.
I feel so sick without you,
all liquid expelled from my system,
puking in rat infested alleys,
in stinking garbage cans,
in dirty toilet bowls,
my eyes blank wells of delusion.
I tell myself, just one more time.
I tell myself I need you.
I need you to take the sick away,
to wrap me in your warmth,
your smoldering honeyed kiss.
And so I prolong my agony
by making myself forget,
and for one moment of divine release
I sacrifice my future,
I sacrifice my morals,
I sacrifice my soul,
and suffer many hardships,
trying to escape your rapture,
trying to escape my fears,
but with or without you,
I am shattered,
disolving into tears. | |
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3 Comments | |
| finalmente, kaka |
May 24, 2007 8:34 am
2671 Views | Sì, finalmente, milano vince al calcio, ma sai che cè'era un pò di casino allo stadio. Dappertutto c'era kaka, tutti gridando "kaka, kaka", e sul campo, c'era kaka qui e kaka lì. I bagni sono rimasti vuoti, forse perchè c'era kaka dappertutto sull'erba.
ah ah ah | |
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2 Comments | |
| Da Dove Viene L'amore? |
Feb 20, 2007 2:14 pm
Mood: curious, 4184 Views |  | Da dove viene l'amore?
Dall'isola desolata pericolosa
con un'esercito dell'acqua intorno
dov'e' detto che gli sogni
restano pesanti sui cuori che creatono
le favole dagli atti piu' forti che esistono?
Da dove viene l'amore?
Dall'angolo piccolino
dove si trova uno spazio
pieno di pace
che comprende e forma il mistero dell'esistenza?
Da dove viene l'amore?
dall'aria dappertutto?
Dai colori nel cielo?
Dal cuore di dio?
Da un malinconico strumento?
Da dove viene l'amore?
Beh,
l'amore c'e'. |
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8 Comments | |
| If You Should Love |
Feb 10, 2007 10:53 am
Mood: hopeful, 3687 Views |  | What do you think you desire?
You may yet be surprised
how even these
stereotypes
are shattered.
If your soul moves,
do not deny yourself
this many faceted jewel
that cuts and cures
in equal turns
and never spares its mystery,
throwing its glint
to make you find another way.
Like being touched by an angel,
its very existence is built on faith. |
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2 Comments | |
| What Wouldn't You Do? |
Feb 9, 2007 7:50 am
Mood: giddy, 3501 Views |  | You may think you have your boundaries,
lines across which you will not go,
but it all falls apart in the face of love
and then there is nothing you wouldn't do
to keep it alive,
for one breath -
even should it be your last -
in the presence of the object
of affect
ion. |
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1 comment | |
| Problemi Semplici |
Feb 1, 2007 8:22 am
Mood: cold, 3294 Views |  | Beh, i problemi con la macchina sono ormai in dietro, e se non ho piu' soldi, almeno non posso spendere niente sulle cose inutili. Ora ho altri pensieri. I tubi dell'acqua a casa mia sono stati irrigiditi ieri quando sono tornata dal lavoro. Ho provato almeno 10 volte per accendere il riscaldamento giu' ma non ha funzionato bene subito, e dentro la casa era 0 gradi. Dovevo mettere il liquido della radiatore della macchina per scongelare i tubi, nella vasca di bagno, nell'acqua del gabinetto, ed in piu' dovevo tenere accesa l'acqua dei lavobi cosi' non diventano ghiacciati i tubi di nuovo. Sto quasi morendo per colpa del freddo che mi taglia come un coltello acido e non solo quando il vento soffia.
Che bello sara' d'essere al sud! |
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1 comment | |
| Life as it Unravels |
Jan 31, 2007 9:19 am
Mood: cynical, 3230 Views |  | Yesterday was, I believe, just the beginning of my recent car troubles. First the hood started smoking, so I pulled to the side of the road, to check for flames. Fortunately, there was no evidence of fire, but the radiator was obviously leaking. I didn't think it was a huge deal, so I kept driving. After all, the engine wasn't over heating. And that's when the car died, the first time. I'd noticed a belt screaming when the car started, and thought to have the belt adjusted. It was so damn cold, it was unpleasant to think about, though I knew the job must be done eventually. Regardless, the battery was disconnecting at two points and I couldn't keep the car going. It barely limped along to a mechanic I've used in the past, but have recently begun to doubt. Still, it was convenient, so I dropped the car off with him, and he promised to have a look at it. This was a little after nine in the morning.
Not before 12:30PM did I hear from Olvin the mechanic, and he said merely that I needed a radiator (no duh!) and the cost for installation of such a part was approximately $250. Immediately, I balked at the price, and asked my co workers for suggestions on different shops where prices are reasonable and the work is good. I called three other places, and found a huge range in prices. Naturally, I gravitated towards the cheapest deal, which undercuts all the others due to the fact that they do very little car work, and concentrate on wrecking and salvage. They quoted a price for the radiator at $104.
I had to use my AAA membership to get a tow to Action Auto, some 4 miles away, and realized that the membership expires today and needs to be renewed. In any case, I called for raod side assistance and they promised me a truck within an hour and fifteen minutes. Let me tell you, it isn't a grand experience waiting outside in the bitter cold for a tow truck for so long. My feet felt nearly frozen. I had a friend agree to drive to my job so that we could follow the car and make sure it got to Action Auto all right. It was getting late, the yard was only open until 6PM, and I had talked to so many mechanics that I was blue in the face. I now wasn't sure if the car would start after putting in a radiator, but Action doesn't do any other work, so taking it to the cheapest place was a gamble, but one I thought I could live with.
The tow truck came a little after five, and the car started with a jump and was able to be moved to proper towing position. At that time, I noticed a fan belt had broken. The tow truck driver was a nice fellow with a fine attitude, and after he helped me screw down the battery, as an ex mechanic, he proferred his opinion that the vehicle wouldn't need a starter or alternator after the belt was replaced.
It took maybe half an hour to get to Action Auto, and they wouldn't be able to deal with the vehicle until the next day. There was another shop across the street, however, providing all manner of repairs, and we shot over there to check out prices on the fan belt. Of course, they were overpriced on the radiator, but to replace the belt would be only $38, so I decided to leave the car at Action, have the radiator replaced, and then take the vehicle over to the place acorss the street, Santos, for the belt. Then all would be well.
Of course, it didn't work out as planned. Sure, the radiator was done, even on time, at ten in the morning. However, once the car was taken to Santos, he said the water pump was bad, and that to replace it would cost $268, with about two hundred dollars being for labor. The pump itself was under $70. So now, what to do?
I'm currently waiting for three shops to get back to me about a price on a water pump. If it's cheaper eslewhere, there I go. If not, I might as well leave it where it's at.
......to be continued (as they say) |
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2 Comments | |
| Come Mai? |
Jan 26, 2007 1:43 pm
3043 Views |  | Come mai
nessuno mi scrive piu'
neanche uno semplice ciao ciao
(o se e' un gatto miao miao)
i giorni rilassanti
sono purtroppo passati
e non so come sentire
certamente non voglio mentire
ma per quanto tempo
non mi hanno chiamato
gru gru! |
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2 Comments | |
| Cosa ha succeso alla mia anima gemella? |
Jan 16, 2007 1:50 pm
Mood: rushed, 3472 Views |  | Cosa ha succeso alla mia anima gemella?
Quando posso sentire la sua voce per telefono
lo so che e' per un'attimo solo,
e dopo,
quasi dimentico come sorridere. |
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4 Comments | |
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